It took me a while to get this post out of my mind and onto the screen. But here you are :)
It’s
funny how my mind works while working on this course: for a while I have an
idea what I want to write about, and then when I have time to sit down and just
write, I come up with a totally
different story. For instance, for quite a while I figured I was going to write
about how I didn’t get the PhD position I interviewed for last week, what my
reaction was and how I dealt with it. It was simmering in the back of my mind,
but it just didn’t want to flow into my fingers. Now that I had some time to
work on it, I came up with the story below the minute I sat down. It’s a lot of
rambling, but that’s also me. You’ll just have to live with that ;)
Last
week we had my cousin Petri over for three days. She is the daughter of my
mom’s sister, and everyone tells us we could be sisters. Even though she is 8
and I’m 24, we have so much in common. We are equally crazy, random and weird.
We have the same quirks, like the same food, respond to others in the same way.
My mom always tells me how much I look like her sister, my aunt (Petri’s mom).
Apparently we have the same facial expressions, get angry in the same way,
respond similarly to questions we don’t want to answer.
Over the last few days I realized that having so much in common with my aunt and cousin means a lot to me. Having no brothers and sisters always meant that I could not have that. That feeling that you’re seeing a bit of yourself in someone else. I always felt like that was a big deal, that I would never feel that close to someone other than my parents. I realized that I don’t need a brother or sister to feel that way. This little girl that has had it rough over the last few years (just like me at that age, actually), is so much like me. We’re both strong, dealing with what we’re given, trying to enjoy the good things when they’re happening. Both of us have been through the divorce of our parents (I was 3 years old when mine separated, she was 7. Big difference, but small at the same time). Both of us dealt with it by acting crazy. Weird faces, voices and characters? We’ve got it all.
Over the last few days I realized that having so much in common with my aunt and cousin means a lot to me. Having no brothers and sisters always meant that I could not have that. That feeling that you’re seeing a bit of yourself in someone else. I always felt like that was a big deal, that I would never feel that close to someone other than my parents. I realized that I don’t need a brother or sister to feel that way. This little girl that has had it rough over the last few years (just like me at that age, actually), is so much like me. We’re both strong, dealing with what we’re given, trying to enjoy the good things when they’re happening. Both of us have been through the divorce of our parents (I was 3 years old when mine separated, she was 7. Big difference, but small at the same time). Both of us dealt with it by acting crazy. Weird faces, voices and characters? We’ve got it all.
Friday
evening I brought her home to her mom, and we talked, my aunt and me. Again, I
found myself in her statements, her concerns, her points of view. It felt like
I gained a big sister, right there and then.
Over the
last few days I realized I don’t need brothers or sisters. I have two women that
I understand and that understand me. I’m good.
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